Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Boyfriend's Request

Okay, my boyfriend "forced" me to post something about him being such a good pitiful boyfriend, which actually he is. Since I've been treating him quite bad, I agreed to post something to compensate.

To tell you the truth, I've been very lucky to get out of my previous relationships and get "stuck" with my currently botak-meaning bald, chubby, yet so cute boyfriend. (the latter is my honest opinion about him, not him forcing me to say, serious)

When people say God will give you what your heart desires, believe me people, He does! When I was younger, and not yet dating, I always dreamed of having a boyfriend who's at least 4 years older than me, very supportive and pampering. And you might think I got a kinky taste, but I always like a guy who's big (i mean, bodyshape-wise!) Not overly big like overweight, but "fit" big. And I always find bald guy attractive. When I say bald, I mean completely, like Vin Diesel, not like Dr. Green-or-whatever-his-name-is from ER. All skin. This sounds a bit funny even to me..

My mom laughed at him and my taste almost everyday when I first went out with him, but now she loves him more than me and always stands on his side whenever I tease him or laugh at him. She has never done that before. My two sisters also love him. Except perhaps my Dad, who loves me more than anything.
Anyways, so here I am now with my 30 y.o. big botak guy. Happy :)

Plus, he's the sweetest guy I have ever found. Inside, he is super loving, super caring, super patient, super low-tempered (really!), but outside he's still a respected cool guy.

OH oh, he has such a sweet unique family. Everyone are just so welcoming and so lovely, in their own ways.

Err, what else to say..

OH, he said that I always torture him by throwing tantrum, being in bad mood, shouting at him, bla bla bla. But he always laughed it all off (he said he knew me too well to be stupid enough to get carried away by all my emotional rage), and that in the end makes me feel damn guilty. He will just say, "Girl, there's only one thing I want to ask of you, only ONE, please change your temper." (He once said "Girl, your temper is as short as this" -showing his two chubby finger tips almost pressed against one another, leaving a space that only one ant can fit in) but then he laughs and gives me a big hug. I feel loved, for real. Something that, now I realized, I never felt before.

So well, despite all those things, I think we will be just fine. Me and him.

This is one picture of him that I can get without him knowing. He hates taking picture.

Yesterday's menu:
Breakfast : one small bakpao (a chinese bun filled with meat)
Lunch : mee sua (wheat noodle) with clear soup
Dinner : yam cake (Dimsum style) and a banana

I still feel like a saint..

Monday, October 26, 2009

Time to Get Serious

All this time I always think that I cannot live without shopping.
I mean, Hello?? I live in Singapore, where (according to my selfish opinion) shopping is one great temptation I cannot ignore or else I'd get mentally depressed.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not those go-for-branded types. That's the only reason I'm not financially broke until today. I shop what my wallet allows me to. But of course this does not make me a "prosperous" person either. I enjoy my life to the point that I don't really plan for my money as long as I have enough to live with for the month.
Geez, I am that bad. I guess that's why I never study finance, management, or whatever thingy.

taken from trendnista


Like what my boyfriend always says, "Even daddy's little girl has to grow matured one day". He makes it sound so general, but I know exactly he points specifically to me. Well, he got a point there for sure, although most of the time I will try to find reason to show that I'm still very young, and has to enjoy life before I get too old. I know I'm wrong, but I'm such a stubborn girl with over the top self pride, so I never want to admit that I am guilty as charged.

Well, this coming Thursday I will be officially 25 years old. And being at this stage makes me think that I'm not that young after all, and I should stop giving the I-am-still-so-young reason to run away from any responsibility that I should have had over my own life.

My boyfriend keeps on telling me to save my money and plan for the future. But somehow I ended up NOT doing it.

I'm kinda sick of it. And last Saturday we actually seriously talk about the whole future thing. We have been planning to buy a flat, but never seriously get our hands in it, until a few days ago. So, to cut the story short, at the end of the day, we come up with a decision that we are going to get our own place early next year. That's our goal, and we commit ourselves in it. Obviously I need more work in this commitment thing, but I'm so eager to reach this goal, and I'm very excited. I promised him that I'd cut off shopping and good resto eat-out. Surprisingly I'm serious and pretty happy about it.

Okay, sorry if I bore you with the serious details. Hmm..I think it's a turning-25-paranoia syndrome, or whatever it is that makes you get paranoid about growing old..Okay I should stop blaming on other thing except myself..

Anyways, last weekend my diet project failed to the max, but it didn't count because I spent the whole weekend in Malaysia, at my boyfriend's parent's. His mom cooked a lot of food, and made sure we all had more than enough to eat three times a day. So there... I couldn't refuse that right? It's very impolite to do that. But, yesterday I did quite good.

Yesterday menu :
1. breakfast = small portion of bee hoon (rice vermicelli) and fried egg.
2. lunch = small portion of rice, with spicy shrimp, beancurd, and some stir-fry veggie.
3. dinner = small portion of porridge with egg, and spicy beancurd.
See...all small portions..I feel like a saint..

Friday, October 23, 2009

Peaceful Weekend

taken from trendnista

I always find myself awaiting weekend even at the beginning of the week. And when Friday comes, I always feel high-spirited, no matter how busy and tiring that day is. Welcoming weekend somehow gives me extra portion of energy.

However today is a bit different. I woke up this morning knowing that today is a Thursday. Not much excited about today, I went to work sporting a normal working look. I met my boyfriend on my way to office, and he said "It's Friday, gal!! What do you want to do later?" I, convinced that today is Thursday, said, "What are you talking about? It's still Thursday." without much interest on the topic. He looked puzzled, then looked at his cell phone to check. "Gal, it's FRIDAY", he said, giving me are-you-drunk-look. I, not so conviced anymore, checked on my cell phone, and of course it's Friday.

Suddenly, I felt so relaxed and happy. It almost felt like your boss suddenly told you that you got a day off tomorrow.

I always love little surprises, and I think this is one. It made me feel grateful for the weekend. I might not be as excited as usual, when I will plan and list the things I will do. Today, I just feel grateful. I just want to relax and enjoy a peaceful weekend, without all the excitement. Just a peaceful out-of-routine moment.

Have yourself a weekend moment guys :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

New Project ON

taken from trendnista

Project : A Body Like That!! (Diet program)
Starting date : 22-10-2009 (today)
Duration : only God knows

Background :
1. My mom kept on saying, "you look errr..fat."
2. I can't fit in my favorite denim shorts and pants anymore.
3. My tighs and arms look like those oversized sausages, really.
4. My friends said, "Err, you look chubby. Have you gained weight?"
5. I want to be able to wear my body-hugging tees, dresses, and skirts without having to hold my breath the whole day. It's damn tiring.
6. Personally, honestly, I'm kinda scared, I never seriously feel that I'm fat, 'till now. I have never been worried about my weight and all, but now Iam. I really do think that I gained too much weight, and I do think I should do something about it, before it goes on.

Goal :
1. losing 8-10 lbs
2. being able to wear all my pants and shorts again, and practically all my old clothes (damn!)
3. looking myself at the mirror with a smile

Programs :
1. Stop adding full-cream milk in my coffee (Stop drinking coffee -> my mom's warning)
2. Do not skip breakfast
3. Eat less portion of lunch
4. Eat fuits or anything light for dinner
5. Exercise (jog, or swim) every evening after work (I can't believe I say this, I'm gonna kill myself)
6. Cut KFC!! (why unhealthy things always taste so damn good?? why?? un-answer-able question)
7. Stop drolling over those tempting cute little desserts!! (damn -do I swear too much?)
8. Commit to this project!
9. SERIOUSLY DO the above list!!!
10. Damn (sorry can't help it)

Pray for me and wish me luck guys. I do need that.

PS: any diet tips guys? will really appreciate it :)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


taken from trendnista
"Plain" side of Coco Rocha, one of my favorite models, captured by Hedi Slimane.
She's is just simply beautiful.

Yes, I'll go through the race with you

A son asked his father, "Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?" The father, despite having a heart condition, says "Yes".

They went on to complete the marathon together.

Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always says "Yes" to his son's request of going through the race together.

One day, the son asked his father, "Dad, let's join the Ironman together." To which, his father said "Yes" too.

For those who didn't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 3.86 kilometer ocean swim, followed by a 180.2 kilometer bike ride, and ending with a 42.195 kilometer marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together

It might not sound touching, but wait until you see this video..

My friend shared this video on Facebook, and I was crying throughout the video. It shows how far a father's love can go. It makes me think, if a father in this world can do this, how much further my Father in Heaven will go?

Our life is pictured as a race. And most of the time, things we face in life are races we have to go through, races we're supposed to win. While facing these, how many of you feel like giving up sometimes? How many of you get so tired of this life sometimes?

I do. As a human, it's inevitable. We get tired, hopeless, angry. But watching this video actually reminds me of one thing. One thing that we shouldn't do in the midst of trouble. It's giving up. Once you give up, there's nothing more in this world you can do, you're out of the race.

When I watch the video, I realized what we ought to do is pictured perfectly by the son, the disabled son (just like us, sometimes when things don't go the way we want it, we always feel we're disabled). Just like him, all we need to do is ask, "Father, will you go through the race with me?" And you see as what the father always says, Father in Heaven will always says, "Yes" as well. He will take us along safely, He will run for us, swim for us, cycle for us. He will go through the whole race with us and for us. And with the Almighty God, who can doubt that we will not finish the race succesfully?

All we have to do is ask for Him, and just stay with Him, all the way.

Yes He loves us that much.

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

-Philippians 4:13-

No News, Good News

Hi all my dearests, I am back :)

I have been away for a week, without any post, and I feel bad about it. Before starting blogging, I've made a commitment to post at least one post a day, and here I am, lazy as a slug :( sorry..
However, the whole week of my absence has been wonderful! My lovely mom was in town to visit me. This time she came here alone.

As expected, we had a blast!! We spent our time together catching up, sharing latest gossips, eating out, laughing thunderously, cooking. I was having so much fun with her. My mom brought a lot of food from my hometown, most of them are my mom's homecooking, and they're just even more delicious than I remembered. My boyfriend loved it so much he could not stop asking for more. Of course, that made my mom extremely happy and self-content.
Unlike before, this time my mom wanted to relax at home, or just sat in a cafe chit-chatting. So we did that. My boyfriend would come along a few times, and he got along really well with my mom.

We spent the night talking about anything, or sometimes just about nothing. But, that time spent together was just everything for me. Since I live far away from my family, this kind of moment is hard to get, so whenever I get to enjoy that moment, I always try to enjoy it to the fullest.

It was quite tough to see her leaving, going back home, although I'll be going back in two months for a long holiday also. But well, I do need to grow up and be strong, that's what I keep on telling myself. Like what my mom says, "let go and let grow" Sometimes you need to let one go to let one grow, well, that's true.

Oh, I finally got the chance to take my mom's photo, she is usually very shy :) So here's my lovely mom and me..Do I look like her? When I was small, people always said that I looked like my mom. But as I got older, people said that I didn't really look like her anymore.. Hmm, I didn't know that I changed that much...

Can't wait to go back and see her and my whole family again!!
How was your weekend dearests??

Friday, October 16, 2009

I'll be 25 in two weeks

Don't congratulate me yet :)

Abbey Lee Kershaw photographed by Marcin Tyszka

It's not that I don't like getting older, but after reaching certain age, I think the birthday buzz is losing a bit of its attraction. I am still excited about the celebration, wishes from the loved ones, the gifts (!!), the feeling of being important for the day. But it is no longer as exciting as ten years ago. When adding 1 year to ur tens, made you more of a "woman", made you eligible to go on a date, made you able to drive dad's car, etc. The excitement was great, although it's actually only one day difference, as in one day you're 16, and the next day you're 17. I still can remember how excited I was turning 17.

Well, turning 25 makes me feel..grown-up. I feel like more responsibilities are added to me. I'm 25 and should be able to take care of myself, think sensible, make my own money, find myself a husband (this is what my grandma always reminds me, SERIOUSLY, during this year, "The clock will not stop ticking for you, you know that, right dear?").

Emma Booth shot by Nicole Bentley for Australian Harper's Bazaar 08.
Yeah, for me being 25 is some sort of a milestone, hey it's a quarter of a century... Anyways, it also makes me feel "pushed" into a different level of generation. I'm not a girl anymore, but calling myself a woman sounds quite weird, since I'm such a girly girl inside. I feel like a little girl walking on mommy's stilettos. Want to be "the woman" but not sure that I'm ready for it. But ready or not, it is the fact that I must walk on, and I think it won't be as hard as I thought.
Btw, my 25th birthday will also be my living-in-Singapore 1st anniversary! Great isn't it? I've been spending one year living on my own, making a living for myself, struggling on my own. This has been such an amazing journey. I learned so much from this one year. And you know what, come to think about it, actually this year has actually made me a woman. Might not be a true woman, but at least I'm on the way to be one :)

Photographed by Mark Seliger for Vogue Italia September 2009

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Where I wanna be right now...

All photos by Erik Madigan Heck for Dries Van Noten inNomenus Quarterly

Seems so peaceful
And I do miss this kind of weather after a whole year summer and scorching sun here...

Today's weekend guys, have a blast!!

Stella McCartney Spring 2010

photo taken from fabsugar

I'm loving the nude and earthy colors on this collection. The looks are definitely something that we can pull off daily, casual yet so chic..
What do u think gals?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

This reminds me of how lucky I am..

...in a cute kinda way

photo by fashionpulse

Some can only dream...

PS: I'm going for shoe-shoppping tomorrow!!

Holding On a Hope

Yesterday was quite a down point of me. I might have been thinking too much, but well there I said it, the thing that has been bothering me all this while, and I do feel much better after spitting it out. It's like 50% of the burden is taken away from me.

Some lovely friends have given me supports just by dropping short or longer comments, either way are of the same value. You know who you are, and I am so much grateful for your heaven-sent beings ^^

I've spent my last evening staying alone in my room, trying to get some peace of mind. That's what I need when I got emotional, just sit alone, spend few minutes on praying. I asked God to forgive me for being so weak, to give me a little more strength for me to hang on, and to lead my way although I cannot see the destination.

After a couple hours, I somehow felt much more relieved. I managed to find peace and strength in my heart. And then I just see things in different way. When things are not going smooth, when the wind is hard, and the sea is rough, I cannot back down and cry! That's a loser character, and hell I ain't no loser. There I see that actually the way to fight those negative feelings is simply by, fighting it! Just stand still, and fight, knowing that I'm gonna get through it..

photo by ilovecoolthings

So what if I'm on the verge? So what if I don't know where I'm heading to? All I know is that when I'm walking with Him, I know I'm safe, and I know I'm walking towards something good, something beautiful. And like what people always say, when it's not alright, it's not the end yet.

photo by ilovecoolthings

Yeah, all I need is hope. Hope that sees that everything will be alright. And believing on it although I'm walking on a thin line. It's not easy I know, but at least I'm on it now, yes I'm on it.

I'm holding on to Hope. It's going to be a rough journey, but I learn to see the excitement and the good things that awaits me ^^

Hope you're all doing great today, dearests..

Monday, October 5, 2009

On The Verge...

..of one thing and another, both of which you cannot define. This certain position is definitely not my favorite place to be. But here I am now, on that very spot called "on the verge". I have never realized it though, until recently. All this time, I felt something is missing inside, I felt a bit of emptiness and uncertainty, which I cannot describe how and why. And just like the usual me, I kept it aside, trying not to think about it.


Well, it keeps bothering me..It's not that I'm not happy with life. I'm having my ups and dows. And mostly I managed to keep myself on the positive side. It's just that..this feeling inside, a little itch, a slight twinge..

And then I come to think about it. Ever since I came to Singapore to work, there's this uncertainty. It's like I'm facing this long road, which for now I cannot see where it leads to.

First, I am working in one big government-linked institute that still needs me to finish a long period project, so I know that I have secured a "safe-position" here. While on the other side, I know that I don't want to do this job for long, a.k.a my passion is not in this field, and heck I don't want to bore myself deep down into this.

Second, I might be staying here in Singapore now, but my heart does live in Indonesia. I might complain a lot about Indonesia, but hey, it's my hometown, where home and family is. Although I'm renting a place that can be said, thanks God, nice and comfortable, but yet I don't feel at home at all. So yeah, I'm now living a life without a real home. I'm home-less, u can say. And it's something that I don't think I can live with.

Third, I met my boyfriend, an event which I know is not just a fun and sweet coincidence. Call it fate, I don't believe in such thing as coincidence. I love him, but settling with him means I need to "live" here, making this place, want it or not, a home. The thought that I actually have to leave my home and family behind really bothers me. All this time, I'm still thinking that one day I'll be going back to my new house, and sleeping in my new bedroom, with mommy and daddy beside me. Immature? hell yeah, that's me, and this "on the verge" state kinda creepy.

Forth, no offense to any Singaporean, Singapore is a great place for a holiday destination, but I am such a boring country girl, thus, I cannot fit myself in Singapore lifestyle. But then going back to Indonesia means starting all over again. Job hunting, bla bla bla..see, I'm really on the verge.

Fifth, I know this got nothing to do with the above on-the-verges. But I'm really on the verge of tears and upset-ness right now. One bad thing of me is that since I'm in Singapore my mood swing is just crazy. It just sucks. I become emotional really easily. Even small things can make me upset. I know it's horrible. And I do hate this kind of me.

So here I am on the verge of things that I cannot see which is right and which is wrong. Or is it not about right or wrong? When people say follow your heart, what if even my heart doesn't have one damn clue?
Should I just continue keeping this feeling away, and just go on with what I have right now?
All I can do now is just pray, God, lead my way, cause I really have no idea where am I heading to, only You know..

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Oh Happy Day..

Not just because it's weekend.

1. I woke up at 9, feeling extremely refreshed. The smell of fresh morning air, and the sound of bird chirping (really!) got me stunned for a few minutes. I decided to enjoy that moment for a while. Having a simple sandwich and a cup of hot chocolate for breakfast, while looking out the window, enjoying some scenery (my house is on 8th floor, so looking out the window is quite an enjoyment ^^), that's a real good start of a day, isn't it?

2. I just got news that my mom is coming to Singapore next week to visit me, yeyy. I miss her already. She said she would bring lots of my favorite food. woohooo. I really miss Indonesian food also T.T

3. It's cloudy with a little bit of rain the whole day. And guess what, that is exactly how my favourite weather is ^^ I sat next to my window almost the whole day, just enjoying the breeze and the smell of rain, while reading and having a cup of coffee. Heaven.

4. And of course, my boyfriend is coming back from Japan tonight! This alone has already made my day :)

taken from lelove

How's ur weekend lovely friends?
Hope you are enjoying your weekend as well :)